In high school I always felt like a mis fit I didn't
think I fit in anywhere I was always in the higher
classes as my school ranked students by their
grades.. I often look among my classmates and said
to myself I didn't belong here anyways I learned to
cope n tried to always be on top.. Which I often
succeed to do up until 10th grade..
I was a shy, quiet and some may say weird girl I
had few good friends and some associates anyways
in the 10th grade I started changing I wore better
hairstyles and uniform got tighter and short my
school had rules and short shirts were not allowed..
The only reason I did all of this was to impress a
boy named Kenny that boy had a real talent when
it comes on to music.. I was obsessed at that time I
called it love one of my friends also liked him.. I
was still a virgin at that time and I wanted so badly
to give it to him.. I had friends that knew his
friends so I got his number we text and engaged in
sexual talks we didn't speak at school but he would
wink at me and I would smile because am so shy..
We text for sometime longer then he stop replying I
told him I wanted to give him my most valuable
possession and he said I'm going to regret it so he
isn't gonna do it.. I was mad at that moment but I
soon realize that he did the right thing..
11th grade was OK but I still had my virginity and
wanted a boyfriend I get so jealous seeing couples
they look so happy.. I am not ugly or anything
intact a lot a guys want me but am very picky when
it comes on to boys..
One morning I got stopped at my school gate for
my inappropriate uniform and got sent home I
didn't go home I chilled in a shop at my school gate
for awhile I was there n I saw this nice looking
young man stepped in I knew him he was one of
my friends ex boyfriend and also a past graduate
of my school His Name was Jermaine.. He looked at
me and smiled he came beside me and took a sweet
I had in my mouth n placed it in his.. In my mind I
kept hearing stay away stay away, his girlfriend
was a viscious girl she was not in my class but on
my block she was in the lower class.. And his ex my
friend so I know I should stay away.. And on top of
that he was what u called a bad boy.. I tried
resisting but I couldn't soon he had my full
attention and was kissing me.. I kissed him back..
Whenever I got locked out of school I would hung
with him..
One day he had me hide away from school and
carried me to one of his friends house and we had
sex well tried being a virgin an all it was hard for
penetration but I never knew anything about sex
so I said my virginity was broken which it wasn't..
I didn't c blood or anything but was inexperienced
so I said yes it was.. After that things got downhill
my friend found out we had an argument n he
actually took her side as she was his first love I
cried in my shower so no one could see.. Later
down the road we talk back but this time I got in
some argument with his gf and he said he couldn't
talk to me anymore I asked if he loved me and he
said "I can't love two people at one" my heart sank
but I moved on..
He was my neighbour he was smart and handsome
and at first seemed quiet.. I always saw him
walking from school and wondered who he was..
Well one of my friends was staying with me so she
got his number for me n we text like everyday and
talk bout lots of things I thought I loved him so I
invite him over one night when my mi was at work
and we had sex it was so painful but also felt
great.. He held up the comdom and said "you know
there is blood on this right u sure you did this
already" I just crawled into the bathroom n didn't
know what to say but I knew he was really the one
who took my virginity.. As time progressed after
that less text or no reply at all.. Still saw him now
and then because he and my lil bro plays football
on Saturdays.. Things got worst and I just had to
move on he said he couldn't be with me because he
has a gf he loves but she is a virgin and she isn't
ready so he does it with other persons I felt used..
After that I have few more rships and it didn't
work out..
After I left high school I went in to party promotion
s not a career just for fun went to a lot of parties
and clubs.. I Started going To This specific club
called "escape" that's Where I met "Andre" in fact
he owned the club I was at the counter eating and
he send one of his bartenders over to me she based
what I wanted to drink I took a soda and after I
finished he called me over and asked for my
number I whispered it in his ears.. Wasn't really
interested because he was a much older guy almost
twice my age days went by he didn't call.. Thought
he had forgot it I just said oh well.. Then one day I
got a call from him we talked and he gave me
advice about careers and he was so encouraging I
started to like him.. He was a very busy man so we
didn't speak often just now and then a few text or
a small call.. He tops up my phone when I ask him
to so I saw him as a gentleman.. Finally he invited
me to his club on a Wednesday night we just sat
and talked he asked if I was single and I said no
and I asked if he was married and he said no..
Thank god.. When it was time to leave he game me
some cash.. I was very elated as I am not financial
blessed.. I went home and thought about him
through the night I questioned myself "do you
really think he wants a serious relationship with a
girl like you?" I doubted myself tho.. He text me the
other day inviting me to the club again on Friday..
Friday night was great I put on a show for him
because he didn't know I could dance he was
surprised and said he liked my style I was kinda
drunk.. After the party I just got into his van and
just let him drive where ever he wanted to go.. He
took me to his home his home was beautiful, we
had sex it was great.. In the morning he called the
taxi gave me some more cash and I went home.. I
wonder if would ever text me or call me back..
I heard Ntg from him for a few days then I got a
text from him asking when he was going to see me
again I told him Friday again and we kept seeing
each other for awhile I thought something was
developing but then I started to hear all sorts of
things about him being a player and everything
started to show itself.. We had a big argument in
his club.. And I swore never to return he called the
other day asking what happen and I cut him off.. I
couldn't stay away so I went back we didn't talk as
usual but didn't have anything against each other..
I saw him bring many women into the club more
while I get jealous and drink until I was drunk and
did all kinda things.. I never told him I love him
but he knew n he used it at his disposal.. Whenever
I did Sumn he didn't like he would flirt with my
close friends..
I went back to him after that.. This was the last time
we had sex and it was perfect well I was in the
moment we made love in the back of his car.. Oh I
loved that man so much he was my everything the
reason for getting up the reason for smiling and he
took my love for granted.. I don't know how he felt
but he kissed me with passion and idk what to draw
from that.. I miss him the real him because now he
ignores my text I never call because I'm afraid to..
He ignores my presence at the club and just keep
bringing other women there I pretend not to care
but I'm dying inside as each day progresses.. I want
to die.. Without him I'm nothing I'm willing to
forgive him n hold him in my arm and look into
his irresistible brown eyes but that's my fantasy
and I have to wake to to reality now.. I think about
him everyday and cry when I'm alone.. I pretend to
be OK when I go to his club and dance with other
people to gain his attention.. He stares at me a lot
but I ignore his eyes.. Just want him to come up to
me and say he is sorry.. But that ain't gonna
happen..
Andre I Love You Forever And Always.. :'(
think I fit in anywhere I was always in the higher
classes as my school ranked students by their
grades.. I often look among my classmates and said
to myself I didn't belong here anyways I learned to
cope n tried to always be on top.. Which I often
succeed to do up until 10th grade..
I was a shy, quiet and some may say weird girl I
had few good friends and some associates anyways
in the 10th grade I started changing I wore better
hairstyles and uniform got tighter and short my
school had rules and short shirts were not allowed..
The only reason I did all of this was to impress a
boy named Kenny that boy had a real talent when
it comes on to music.. I was obsessed at that time I
called it love one of my friends also liked him.. I
was still a virgin at that time and I wanted so badly
to give it to him.. I had friends that knew his
friends so I got his number we text and engaged in
sexual talks we didn't speak at school but he would
wink at me and I would smile because am so shy..
We text for sometime longer then he stop replying I
told him I wanted to give him my most valuable
possession and he said I'm going to regret it so he
isn't gonna do it.. I was mad at that moment but I
soon realize that he did the right thing..
11th grade was OK but I still had my virginity and
wanted a boyfriend I get so jealous seeing couples
they look so happy.. I am not ugly or anything
intact a lot a guys want me but am very picky when
it comes on to boys..
One morning I got stopped at my school gate for
my inappropriate uniform and got sent home I
didn't go home I chilled in a shop at my school gate
for awhile I was there n I saw this nice looking
young man stepped in I knew him he was one of
my friends ex boyfriend and also a past graduate
of my school His Name was Jermaine.. He looked at
me and smiled he came beside me and took a sweet
I had in my mouth n placed it in his.. In my mind I
kept hearing stay away stay away, his girlfriend
was a viscious girl she was not in my class but on
my block she was in the lower class.. And his ex my
friend so I know I should stay away.. And on top of
that he was what u called a bad boy.. I tried
resisting but I couldn't soon he had my full
attention and was kissing me.. I kissed him back..
Whenever I got locked out of school I would hung
with him..
One day he had me hide away from school and
carried me to one of his friends house and we had
sex well tried being a virgin an all it was hard for
penetration but I never knew anything about sex
so I said my virginity was broken which it wasn't..
I didn't c blood or anything but was inexperienced
so I said yes it was.. After that things got downhill
my friend found out we had an argument n he
actually took her side as she was his first love I
cried in my shower so no one could see.. Later
down the road we talk back but this time I got in
some argument with his gf and he said he couldn't
talk to me anymore I asked if he loved me and he
said "I can't love two people at one" my heart sank
but I moved on..
He was my neighbour he was smart and handsome
and at first seemed quiet.. I always saw him
walking from school and wondered who he was..
Well one of my friends was staying with me so she
got his number for me n we text like everyday and
talk bout lots of things I thought I loved him so I
invite him over one night when my mi was at work
and we had sex it was so painful but also felt
great.. He held up the comdom and said "you know
there is blood on this right u sure you did this
already" I just crawled into the bathroom n didn't
know what to say but I knew he was really the one
who took my virginity.. As time progressed after
that less text or no reply at all.. Still saw him now
and then because he and my lil bro plays football
on Saturdays.. Things got worst and I just had to
move on he said he couldn't be with me because he
has a gf he loves but she is a virgin and she isn't
ready so he does it with other persons I felt used..
After that I have few more rships and it didn't
work out..
After I left high school I went in to party promotion
s not a career just for fun went to a lot of parties
and clubs.. I Started going To This specific club
called "escape" that's Where I met "Andre" in fact
he owned the club I was at the counter eating and
he send one of his bartenders over to me she based
what I wanted to drink I took a soda and after I
finished he called me over and asked for my
number I whispered it in his ears.. Wasn't really
interested because he was a much older guy almost
twice my age days went by he didn't call.. Thought
he had forgot it I just said oh well.. Then one day I
got a call from him we talked and he gave me
advice about careers and he was so encouraging I
started to like him.. He was a very busy man so we
didn't speak often just now and then a few text or
a small call.. He tops up my phone when I ask him
to so I saw him as a gentleman.. Finally he invited
me to his club on a Wednesday night we just sat
and talked he asked if I was single and I said no
and I asked if he was married and he said no..
Thank god.. When it was time to leave he game me
some cash.. I was very elated as I am not financial
blessed.. I went home and thought about him
through the night I questioned myself "do you
really think he wants a serious relationship with a
girl like you?" I doubted myself tho.. He text me the
other day inviting me to the club again on Friday..
Friday night was great I put on a show for him
because he didn't know I could dance he was
surprised and said he liked my style I was kinda
drunk.. After the party I just got into his van and
just let him drive where ever he wanted to go.. He
took me to his home his home was beautiful, we
had sex it was great.. In the morning he called the
taxi gave me some more cash and I went home.. I
wonder if would ever text me or call me back..
I heard Ntg from him for a few days then I got a
text from him asking when he was going to see me
again I told him Friday again and we kept seeing
each other for awhile I thought something was
developing but then I started to hear all sorts of
things about him being a player and everything
started to show itself.. We had a big argument in
his club.. And I swore never to return he called the
other day asking what happen and I cut him off.. I
couldn't stay away so I went back we didn't talk as
usual but didn't have anything against each other..
I saw him bring many women into the club more
while I get jealous and drink until I was drunk and
did all kinda things.. I never told him I love him
but he knew n he used it at his disposal.. Whenever
I did Sumn he didn't like he would flirt with my
close friends..
I went back to him after that.. This was the last time
we had sex and it was perfect well I was in the
moment we made love in the back of his car.. Oh I
loved that man so much he was my everything the
reason for getting up the reason for smiling and he
took my love for granted.. I don't know how he felt
but he kissed me with passion and idk what to draw
from that.. I miss him the real him because now he
ignores my text I never call because I'm afraid to..
He ignores my presence at the club and just keep
bringing other women there I pretend not to care
but I'm dying inside as each day progresses.. I want
to die.. Without him I'm nothing I'm willing to
forgive him n hold him in my arm and look into
his irresistible brown eyes but that's my fantasy
and I have to wake to to reality now.. I think about
him everyday and cry when I'm alone.. I pretend to
be OK when I go to his club and dance with other
people to gain his attention.. He stares at me a lot
but I ignore his eyes.. Just want him to come up to
me and say he is sorry.. But that ain't gonna
happen..
Andre I Love You Forever And Always.. :'(
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